An Unexpected Life With...
Discover more from Quirky: Because we're all a little different
EDITOR’S NOTE: This week’s post is by writer Amy Castillo. Amy is a Kansas City, Mo-based freelance writer and researcher. In 2022, she finished her debut memoir featuring her late father, a Vietnam veteran and eldest of 11 children.
As a wife, mother of 2 crazy kids and one cockatiel, she spends her spare time baking (she owns an allergy-friendly baking company) and traveling the world with her family. You can follow her on Facebook@AmyJCastillo.author or Instagram: amyjcastillo_author
My two teens are going to a two-day church youth event. When I learned of the event, I was immediately excited about the planned fun activities for them (we love our kids’ ministry at our church and our pastors). Also, what teens (and parents, who is kidding?) don’t want to have a break from their parents?
But another part of my heart sank just a little. The event will have tons of food and our 13-year-old son has severe life-threatening food allergies. He has never been to an event like this without a parent.
So I stopped in my tracks. My son is excited to go to this event. He even showered before the event, knowing that he would be exhausted when he got home (think of a teen boy who wanted to shower!).
Then I reminded myself: I know the adults in charge. He has learned how to manage his food allergies.
But those thoughts tried to creep back in. Having a baby 13 years ago with food allergies was devastating. I blamed myself constantly. Throughout my pregnancy, I craved his allergens. I ate countless cheese sticks and peanut butter toast, not thinking my baby would be allergic to these foods. Because of this, I thought I gave him his food allergies.
Breastfeeding, reading and studying food labels and food manufacturer websites, and stares from others at school, birthday parties and restaurants were all moments we experienced – both good and bad.
None of it went as planned.
He never outgrew the foods.
He would never eat a piece of cake at a birthday party that I didn’t bake myself.
He would never enjoy a slice of pizza safely with his friends.
He would not be invited to countless sleepovers and birthday parties.
I grieved those moments. As my son gets older, he doesn’t want to go to events without his mom hovering over him. But now we pack food for events. We don’t expect others to provide safe food. I’ve grieved the life I thought would be easy. It’s gotten easier and less stressful, but with the journey comes lots of preparation and work.
As a young teen, his willpower to say no to junk food, birthday cake, and candy at Halloween (and all the parties) is unbelievable. But, he is a young man I know will do great things because of his food allergies. He knows how to advocate and speak up. He knows he’s different. But, as his mom, I know a part of him when he is left out of food-centered activities is heartbreaking sometimes.
As much as I wish he didn’t have life-threatening food allergies, I am thankful we have looked beyond what he can’t do or have and forward to what he can.
And here’s the boy who makes me laugh daily!
