Holy Saturday
Holy Week
On Easter Sunday, 2015, I wrote “Letter to the Other Driver.” It was about forgiveness to the man who had caused the car accident that changed our lives on March 1, 2000. The forgiveness my children and I offered was hard won.
But as we near the joyous end of Holy Week with the crescendo of “HE IS RISEN!” it is important, I think, to mark our ability to celebrate without bitterness.
Have a Blessed Easter.
HE IS RISEN. HE IS RISEN INDEED.
Letter to the Other Driver: Fifteen Years Later
The first "Letter to the other driver" was written on Easter Sunday, April 30, 2000. At that time, it had been 51 days since Ron's car accident. The original letter was printed in the Daily Times in …
We knew we needed to forgive the man who had inadvertently caused our family so much heartache and ultimately cost Ron his life, but it was a real challenge. Is there someone you have had a hard time forgiving? Did you finally manage to achieve it?
Hi Linda. First, happy Easter to you. To some degree, I can understand the feelings you had concerning forgiveness. When I was 22 my brother was hit on his motorcycle with my teenaged cousin on the back of his bike. The other driver was an older women who was entering a very busy road near here. She did not see him coming I guess and drove out into the intersection. My brother tried to take evasive action by dropping the bike on it's side and hitting the women in the driver's side. He and my cousin were severely injured. He had head injuries which eventually caused his death. My cousin survived with a shattered ankle and a trauma that was difficult to live with afterwards for many years. He was out with her because she needed someone to talk to, and Earl was that person.
Eventually he died from his wounds 3 months later. The agony that I saw my family go through because of this I still have trouble thinking about without crying. My own strength was to be strong for my parents, his wife, my husband.
My mother filled with anger, could not speak to my cousin for many years. She was putting her anger and sorrow somewhere, though misdirected. She was angry at the driver. With years that passed I am sure that anger mellowed, but does it ever really go away? I don't remember being angry just sad, as he was the brother I felt most like in my family, even for our 13 years apart in age. Today, I still cry as I am now writing this to you. I am not angry at anyone and hope that if there is a Heaven, Earl found peace. I hope anyone that loses someone finds peace.
Your story brought back memories of losing my stepson in 2005, due to an auto accident involving alcohol. My stepson and his best friend both perished in the accident. My stepson’s dad, my now late husband, forgave the driver at his sentencing. I’ve often wondered how he’s doing. His life was forever changed the day he was charged with two counts of vehicular manslaughter. I pray for him.