ODE TO A VACUUM CLEANER

A story from the Land of Quirky Vision (Keratoconus)

O, vacuum cleaners I have broken

Accept this ode as my token

Of your untimely and swift demise

Caused by my quirky eyes

Marbles I thought were spots

Buttons that appeared as dots

Long threads seen as lines of light

Coins that disappeared from sight

Monopoly pieces disguised as dust

Tacks that made your engines bust

The dog’s toy left in the hall

That I just didn’t see at all.

Strands of yarn that broke your belt

Nails that made your  insides melt

The time when I was cleaning house

And the mud turned out to be a mouse

I never meant you harm at all

When I ran you over what I thought I saw.

From this day on, I’ll sweep my floors

And vow to vacuum never more.