Reason 99: It's my season

100 Reasons I've Retired

There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens; a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I wanted to finish strong and on my terms. The last year of teaching English as a Second Language to urban high school students was challenging, due to issues at school and my father’s slow decline into dementia. I knew that I could walk away if I wanted to; I had reached full retirement age. But I also knew that I wanted to finish out the year, see my senior ESL students graduate, and leave a plan in place for a continuing program for my Dominican students.

As much as I loved my thirty years as a teacher (well, most of them!), God placed a new desire in my heart. It began to grow, slowly over the course of two years. In December of 2023, I knew this would be my last year as a teacher. Leaving the little blue room at the end of the hall and my wonderful students was difficult, but I determined to end it with grace.

No one really likes change. According to Psychology Today, we are hard-wired to resist change because our amygdalas interpret change as a threat. We return to the tried and true because it is what we know, even if it is uncomfortable. This was certainly true for me the September after Ron died. I was in a state of “post-caregiver syndrome”. His loss had also meant the loss of my role as his caregiver. I needed to “reorient to a lifestyle that felt familiar” (Verano, 2024). So I returned to the same school, the same students, the same blue room.

I returned to the familiar so I could heal.

During a time of upheaval and change in policies, one former colleague said, “We have to embrace the discomfort of change.” So here I am, making a major change, praying for God’s direction as I listen for his voice.

And I think of Joshua, who needed to step into the footsteps of Moses and lead the Israelites to the Promised Land. I think of God’s command to him:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

“In essence,” says my friend Nicki Koziarz in Your New Now, “God says: GO BE GREAT!”

I end this season with peace in my soul.

I’m going to go be great.

Have you finished or entered a new season of life? What obstacles—physical or personal—did you need to overcome to make that change?