I was 25-years-old, the mom of two young children, the wife of an alcoholic husband, and the executor when my mom died suddenly 18 months after Dad died. My younger sister wasn't around much and, in fact, caused me good measure of trouble when she was. The task of clearing the family home of a lifetime of memories fell to me. There was so much to navigate and I had to learn fast in the midst of my grief. I'm sorry for your loss. One gentle day at a time.
"Gentle" is the key word here, Linda. I am blessed to have a brother to share these tasks with me. In 2021 and 2022, we spent many weeks of the summer clearing out Dad's house in preparation for his move to Virginia. Bittersweet, to be sure, but to share memories of a happy childhood was a great gift!
I was the executor for Bud's will. In ways, it didn't feel different than what I'd been doing, taking care of him and making decisions. I went through all of that by myself and it wasn't easy. His family, at times supportive, but decisions were mine. I kept them informed and in the end, we all agreed it was time to let Bud's spirit go.
Taking care of the possessions he had was difficult. Going through a lifetime of memories and things that evoked those memories. I let his sisters take what they wanted. Most wanted nothing. So with the help of Mike and a few other friends, we cleaned out the apartment little by little and rehomed his cats.
Banking stuff was not easy as I am not a relative. Even though I was the executor, I still had to bring his sister to the bank to close an account that had little money. It cost me more to probate the will and do everything the way I was supposed to, which I thought was a horrible thing to do to people who are grieving. It's been ten years since then, and while I don't cry like I use to, my life certainly will never be the same without Bud walking this earth.
Ah, Debbie, I so understand. There have been moments in the last six weeks since Dad's passing that I am suddenly stunned by his absence. And that leads me again to being stunned that I have retired and my husband is not here to share it. None of it is easy, but we take it one step at a time.
I was 25-years-old, the mom of two young children, the wife of an alcoholic husband, and the executor when my mom died suddenly 18 months after Dad died. My younger sister wasn't around much and, in fact, caused me good measure of trouble when she was. The task of clearing the family home of a lifetime of memories fell to me. There was so much to navigate and I had to learn fast in the midst of my grief. I'm sorry for your loss. One gentle day at a time.
"Gentle" is the key word here, Linda. I am blessed to have a brother to share these tasks with me. In 2021 and 2022, we spent many weeks of the summer clearing out Dad's house in preparation for his move to Virginia. Bittersweet, to be sure, but to share memories of a happy childhood was a great gift!
I was the executor for Bud's will. In ways, it didn't feel different than what I'd been doing, taking care of him and making decisions. I went through all of that by myself and it wasn't easy. His family, at times supportive, but decisions were mine. I kept them informed and in the end, we all agreed it was time to let Bud's spirit go.
Taking care of the possessions he had was difficult. Going through a lifetime of memories and things that evoked those memories. I let his sisters take what they wanted. Most wanted nothing. So with the help of Mike and a few other friends, we cleaned out the apartment little by little and rehomed his cats.
Banking stuff was not easy as I am not a relative. Even though I was the executor, I still had to bring his sister to the bank to close an account that had little money. It cost me more to probate the will and do everything the way I was supposed to, which I thought was a horrible thing to do to people who are grieving. It's been ten years since then, and while I don't cry like I use to, my life certainly will never be the same without Bud walking this earth.
Ah, Debbie, I so understand. There have been moments in the last six weeks since Dad's passing that I am suddenly stunned by his absence. And that leads me again to being stunned that I have retired and my husband is not here to share it. None of it is easy, but we take it one step at a time.